The Shadows of Duty and Science

Posted on Sat Aug 9th, 2025 @ 9:12pm by Commander Eva Grey & Ensign Erin Andala

947 words; about a 5 minute read

Eva paused just outside the glass partition that separated the corridor from science lab three. Her reflection stared back at her in the transparent panel, her eyes filled with a sadness for which there were few words. A dozen thoughts filled her mind, all demanding resolution, but only one mattered right now. She had played this moment over in her mind countless times since leaving the captain's ready room. She hadn’t had time to grieve the loss of not just a ship mate but one of her own team; she knew that would come in time. At the moment, she had one of the most upsetting duties that any command officer had to perform to attend to. Taking a deep breath, Eva tapped the panel beside the door and stepped inside.

Erin was deep in concentration, hunched over a console displaying a spectral analysis of microbial residues recovered from the station. The lab was quiet, filled with the steady hum of equipment and the soft flicker of LCARS interfaces. It had always been her sanctuary while she had been at the academy, and now it seemed to help her adjust making the transition from cadet to science officer. She didn’t look up at the sound of the door.

“I re calibrated two of the sensor pallets,” she said automatically. “I had to ask someone from engineering to help me, but we should be able to get better resolution on any visual images from now on.”

Eva had rehearsed what words she might use to give Ensign Andala the news. She had written versions in her head that had seemed emotionally respectful, even poetic. But as she stepped closer to the young ensign, all of that crumbled like old parchment.

“There’s no easy way to say this,” Eva began, her voice soft and steady but stripped of all pretense. “Ensign Noa Oku was killed during the away mission.”

At first, the words didn’t register. Erin stared at the commander as though she’d suddenly switched languages. Noa killed? It didn't seem real. Noa had just been there earlier, before being told she had been selected for her first away mission. She’d teased Erin about the uneven fringe of her haircut three days ago. She’d laughed over drinks in the lounge. Erin’s hands gripped the console. Her mouth moved, but no sound came out.

Finally, she spoke, her voice cracked. “She was so excited to be on her first away mission. She was supposed to come back.”

Eva lowered her gaze for a moment, then stepped forward, placing a hand gently on the console between them. “I know,” she said softly. “She was one of our brightest. And she was your friend.”

The words felt too small for the moment and Eva hated that. She hated how often Starfleet officers were asked to find poetry in grief. Noa Oku had deserved more than memorials. She deserved time. She deserved to still be alive.

It was too much. Too sudden. Too sharp. Erin backed up, shaking her head, tears stinging her eyes. The lab blurred. Everything blurred. “She was the only person who understood what the Academy was like for me,” Erin said, almost to herself. The silence that followed was suffocating.

Eva’s jaw tightened. “I wasn’t ready to tell you, but I felt that you deserved to be told like this,” she said, honestly. “I didn’t want you to hear it from a ship wide report or some sterile memorial post.” She stepped around the console now, slowly, and finally sat beside Erin. “You were more than colleagues,” Eva said. “I saw it. You grounded each other. Challenged each other. That bond matters. It’s why I needed to tell you face to face.”

There was a long pause before Eva spoke again. “I’m authorizing you for extended leave from duty. Take the time you need.”

Erin shook her head instantly. “No. I need the work. I need to be here.” Her voice was raw, but resolute. “If I stop, I’ll fall apart.” She looked toward the secondary lab terminal that had been Noa’s workstation. The screen was still open to her last file, a half finished model on bioluminescent signaling in deep space algae. It had been Noa's pet project, started on a dare. “I want to finish what she started,” Erin said. “And I want her name on it.”

Eva followed the ensign's gaze, her chest tightening when she noticed the workstation. Feeling tears fill up behind her eyes, she nodded. “Then we’ll make sure it happens,” she said, rising to her feet again. “I want you to finish any project that Noa was working on, and I want you to add your name to them if you feel comfortable doing so. I think she would be happy to know that you finished her work. I'll make sure that her name stays on as the primary.”

It wasn’t an order. It wasn’t even a request. It was a gift. One she hoped Erin would take when she was ready. Placing her hand on the young woman's shoulder, Eva nodded gently. “I feel this loss with you. I know it's not in the same way that you feel it, but I want you to know that if you need someone to talk to, I'm always available."

"Thank you, Commander," Erin said, nodding her head and feeling the tears fall at last. "I think I want to be alone for a little while."

Eva nodded in understanding. Turning, she exited the science lab, feeling her tears as they slid silently down her face.

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